If you've ever worked in the restaurant industry, you are a very brave soul. You've experienced agony like few others will ever know, and it has connected you to other restaurant natives around the world. It's a not-so-exclusive club that has to deal with more nonsense than most other industries. Because when someone tries to tell you that they have a gluten allergy but they're eating the free bread, you really begin to question why you put up with it. You have a ridiculous schedule, you work with bizarre people, and you deal with some of the rudest people the world could possibly have, and that's why there are many things you'd only understand if you'd worked in a restaurant. When you think of all the things you deal with at work, it's hilarious, but it can also be totally brutal. Here are 15 hilarious things only people that work in restaurants will understand, and it's too easy to relate.

15 The Kitchen Will Scar Your Ears

If you're politically correct, it's probably smart to try and ignore the kitchen at all costs. Some of the things that come out of the people working in the kitchen's mouths will scar you for life, and you'll never be able to get them out of your head. Of course there are both male and female chefs and line cooks, so this vulgar language is totally not a gender thing. Hey, you should love the kitchen and everyone that works there, because it's all about scratching their back so they'll scratch yours. They'll make your life easier, but that doesn't mean you'll be overjoyed to hear bits of their conversations. It's how restaurant kitchens typically are, and it's what you come to expect when you work in the service industry. There's never a dull moment, which is really the only good thing that you can say about this whole thing.

14 Bad Tippers Are The Worst Kind Of People

How people in the service industry define a good or bad person is definitely all about how they tip. You are definitely a super horrible person if you think it's okay not to tip your server. Tipping at all is better than no tip, but you reveal a lot about yourself when you pay that bill at the end of your meal. Are you cheap? Are you culturally ignorant? Your server will immediately know tons of things about you based on what you give them at the end of the night. Nope, servers aren't psychic and they definitely can't read minds, but it's part of being in this industry. It's funny until you actually end up losing money from going to work because of how much servers tip out to the rest of the restaurant. There are certain things that only people who work in the restaurant industry will understand, and this might be the biggest one.

13 The Lemon Water People

It's totally okay to want lemon in your water, but then there are THOSE people who want lemon in their water. You know the type. They don't even say hello. They just immediately chastise you for pouring water into their glass that is too basic. Oh, and obviously they don't want any ice. If you've never worked in a restaurant, you'd never understand this dreaded moment of pure exasperation, because you know exactly how this table is going to end up during the rest of your shift. The lemon water people are the face of a greater group of patrons that dine in restaurants and like to be incredibly difficult with their long list of nit-picky demands, and they're a server's nemesis. If you're going to be difficult and complain about everything when you go out to eat, just don't. We'll save our lemons and our good mood and you'll save some money. It's a win-win.

12 People Think They're Better Than You

Oh, servers love it when a guest asks what their "REAL" job is. This. This right here is what we do. It doesn't matter if you have a college degree. People just immediately assume that if you're a server, it's not what you're "REALLY" doing. There is a great disparity between people that have worked in the service industry and people that haven't. You can immediately tell by how little respect they treat you with or how respectful they are. Spoiler alert: if you're arbitrarily rude, we know you've never actually worked in a restaurant. Between the front of the house and the back of the house, they deal with more ridiculous nonsense than most people ever will when they go to work, and they have to do it with a huge smile on their face while being told this isn't a real job. Be good to your servers, respect the kitchen, and you're a decent human being. You're definitely not better than you're server.

11 That One Coworker That Sucks

It's Saturday night and you're trying to set up for brunch, and that one coworker decides that this is an ideal time to sit down and enjoy their food. Unless we want to be here until midnight, get your crap together. Or how about that one coworker that walks way too slow during the middle of the rush? Or the one that keeps leaving a huge mess behind the bar, at the support station, and in the pit? You deal with a lot of people you want to smack in the face when you work in a restaurant, and not all of them are the guests you're serving. Don't even get the kitchen started on that one server the rings in literally every bill wrong so they have to keep remaking the order. Obviously this lack of thinking from that one coworker only commences just as you're in the weeds, and they make your life harder. Yup, it's always an adventure when you arrive at work.

10 No One Understands Your Schedule

Basically, your coworkers before your best friends... or you befriend other people that work in restaurants. No one else could possibly understand how your schedule works. What time are you off? We have literally no idea, it depends on how busy the night is. Literally, we could be cut at seven o'clock or stay past midnight. We might even get called off for a shift we've been scheduled for. Our days off are definitely not Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, because those happen to be the busiest days of the week. Oh, and we work doubles! Lunch and dinner shifts in the same day are totally the best. Not. Trying to explain your schedule to someone that doesn't work in the industry can feel like you're speaking another language, and maybe you are. Planning our lives in advance is nearly impossible, which is why we love our friends in the industry, and it's almost impossible to date someone that isn't in it.

9 There Is No Shame In Eating Food That's Sent Back

Get off your high horse. When that plate of untouched calamari rolls back to the dish pit, you devour it. Do you think it's gross eating food someone else has already touched? Please, it's practically pristine. The way a server looks at this leftover food is the way the love of your life should look at you, but love that perfect just doesn't exist. When it's the middle of the rush and those fries come back, you eat them as if they're going to save your life. Sure, maybe if the guest looks a little sketchy, you might be a little more careful about whose food you chow down on. This is the cold, hard reality of working in the restaurant industry, and if you want to survive the hell of your shift, you eat whatever you can at any cost. Besides, you can't cook this stuff for yourself at home. So you're being pretty realistic about the whole thing.

8 The Guy With The Neck Tattoo Is Pretty Cool

Line cooks are some of the most generous people you'll ever meet, but if you want to truly get to know them, you'll need to settle down with the stereotyping and judgment. Sure, some of them are felons. But some of them are college educated. Chances are, you won't be able to tell which is which, but you'll probably start to guess which category the guy with tattoos from his ears to his toes fits in. As it turns out, he's honestly probably one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. A kitchen is a pretty special and awesome place filled with individuals from all walks of life, and befriending them will probably be one of the best decisions of your life. Working in this industry will change how you look at people, which considering how much you have to put up with when you go to work every day, is a blessing in disguise.

7 The Hatred For People That Come At Closing

Do not be this person. Don't do it. You will literally be the worst person in the history of the entire world. That might sound like an exaggeration, but that's how it feels to the restaurant you are doing this to. If the restaurant closes at 11 pm, do not come in at 10:57 pm and ask if we're still open. We want to say no so badly it hurts. It is physically painful how much we hate you and how badly we want you to get the hell out. However, most of the time we have to say yes, in which case you've totally ruined our night and the kitchen's night. The people that come right at closing are the worst. We just worked a long day, our feet are killing us, we want to go home so badly, but now we can't because of you. This isn't a career that has set hours. We're here until you leave. So please, for the love of anything holy, never do this.

6 The Fear Of Closing Shifts

All you want to do is go home early, but instead, you're stuck with the closing shift. It's never that simple, however, because you're assigned all the closing shifts the exact same week you're assigned all the opening shifts. Of course, right?! Basically, you're going to be dead by the end of the work week, because it's nothing but doubles, openings, and closings. It coincides with the struggle of wanting money and needing hours, but always wanting to be the first one cut. You try to tell yourself to stay, but if the opportunity arrives, you'll be out of their faster than you can tell anyone how much you hate being at this awful restaurant. The bottom line is this; you're in constant fear when you work in this industry. Fear of closing shifts, fear of opening shifts, fear of wanting hours, fear of not wanting hours. Did the manager just ask who is table fifteen? Yup, you're table fifteen.

5 Where Are All The Pens?

This is a damn conspiracy, and you know it. There is some woman that sneaks into every restaurant in the middle of the night to rob the servers of their pens because you forgot to bring her that ranch dressing that one time. In reality, this is entirely possible, but it doesn't explain why you show up to your shift with seven pens and leave with negative three. Do the guests steal them? You begin to grow suspicious because it's hard to trust anyone when the pens are disappearing so quickly until you notice that Dan over there has thirty-six pens tucked into his apron. It's a crisis that is hard to relate to on the level that servers experience it because you literally cannot function or do your job without a pen. If that pen stops working during the rush? Don't even say that. Just don't. You'll jinx it.

4 When Your Friend Joins The Dark Side

Managers. Sometimes they're your best friend. Sometimes they're your worst enemy. When your friend joins the dark side and becomes one, it's always a sad day, because now they're that person that will have a brain aneurysm if they see you eating the biscuits. We don't get breaks, what else are we suppose to do, starve? It can be terrifying when you see a manager speaking to your table, but all you can do is pray they'll back you up when you have particularly hard guests trying to ruin your night. Yup, you'll totally ignore their calls on your day off because someone didn't show up, and pretend you're working whenever they roar around a corner to try and catch you slacking off. It's a strange balancing act when you're friends with your manager, but it can make your entire shift when you work with the one you love.

3 Guests That Use Hand Signals To Get Your Attention

Another thing to never, ever do when you go out for dinner. You have to be fairly uncivilized to do this, so chances are, it doesn't happen all that often these days, but that makes it all the more obnoxious when it does happen. Don't wave your hands at the server from across the room. We're not your personal servant. This falls in the category of the general lack of respect restaurant workers deal with on a daily basis. Every customer feels like they're special when in reality, every person in that restaurant is harboring that very thought. A server will diligently try to give you a wonderful meal, but the least you can do is return the favor and be kind in return. We're a human being just like you, but unfortunately, that doesn't mean we get treated like one every shift. We'll walk away from you laughing at the end of the night, and that's all that really matters.

2 When Guests Ask Stupid Questions

"Is it good?" Oh, you wanted something that was GOOD. Why didn't you say so? Our good food is actually on a completely different menu. You might think your question is good, but think it through before you leave your server with a headache from all your brutal questions. Truthfully, we love your business, we love you if you tip well and if you're kind to us, and servers will sometimes even give you free things if you're exceedingly lovely. However, servers have to put up with a lot of tables, and the chances are someone will start asking if the red snapper is gluten free or if they can have an egg free omelette. It doesn't matter if it's brunch or dinner, there will be a guest modifying their order so much and asking you so many questions that you're already picturing the kitchen cursing your name. It's funny, but so, so painful.

1 You Know When Customers Are Lying

Oh, you have a gluten allergy? Then why are you scarfing down the free bread like it's your last meal on earth? It's hilarious when someone has a severe nut allergy but is okay to eat the dessert that has almonds in it. "Oh, I'm not THAT allergic." Tell your server if you have an allergy before you order... not at the very second that your meal arrives. When someone says that they have a tomato allergy but is pouring ketchup over their fries, there is something very fishy going on. If this is you, you look totally and completely stupid. If you try lying to your server, the chances are it will become the joke of the night, because it's hard to sneak something by the person that is literally serving your meal. There are a lot of hilarious things that transpire during your work shift, but this might be the funniest and most frustrating thing that can happen.

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About The Author

Jade Louise (82 Articles Published)

A ferret lover and avid writer. Undergrad at University of Victoria.

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